Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Called out by the kid

Kids say it like it is. And it doesn't always come out the way you want it to. Yesterday was check-up day at the doctor for my youngest. He likes the doc. He's a sweet guy who usually ignores mom, but that's fine with me. He focuses on the patient - whether he's 16 or 6. He asks the kid the questions and waits patiently for the answers. And I mean he waits patiently! He sits on the edge of his seat waiting for responses to such significant questions as "Do you eat a lot of good food?," "What's your girlfriend's name?" or "Do you have diarrea?" And he should get extra points for his acting, because he really convinces those little people on the other end of the stethoscope that hearing about their diarrea is the most earth-shattering and interesting thing he has ever heard.

In the long line of questioning, my 6-year-old was quick to answer questions with either a nod or a simple "yes" or "no." He didn't elaborate even when there was a bit more he could explain. Like when the doctor said "Ok, let's assess your risks. Does anyone in your house smoke?" I was floored when he answered "yes." I shook my head and said "nobody smokes at home." To which he answered, "Yeah, Dad does." I was puzzled. Neither my husband or I have ever smoked cigarettes. Ooopps. I forgot about the two or three cigars my husband might smoke outside over the course of a year.

Next question was "Are there any guns in your house?" Again, he surprised me with his response of "yes." Again, I was behind him shaking my head "no." "You're talking about dart guns and toy guns?" I said. Nope. That's not what he was talking about. I had forgotten about a b.b. gun that my husband had shot a few times at some varmints that were destroying his garden. My son hadn't, so he answered the doctor's question. His Elmer Fudd ways were exposed. By the time we left the office for what was a routine check-up, our household had become one of gun-toting, chain-smokers.

No comments: