Friday, August 4, 2017

Feeling like furniture

When having a discussion recently with someone about my kids, we talked about how much little boys need their mothers. You do everything for them. They couldn't survive without you. And then they start growing up and don't need you so much anymore.

As the boys get older, they need me less. I don't have to feed them and change them and bathe them and read to them like I did long ago. They still need me around even as teenagers, but not as the caretaker and safety net I once was. As they get bigger, they gravitate more toward wanting to be around my husband. They want to do guy things, engage in guy talk, bond. I love that relationship between them and try not to be sad about not being the go-to person for almost everything anymore. 

There are days that it really does feel like I barely exist to them. Like I'm a piece of furniture - just something that is here, but that you don't engage with. They don't come to me to play video games with or for help fixing something. They don't come to me that often for advice. They come to me when they are hungry, they need a ride somewhere or they need a solution to something small that I can help them with - like paperwork or making a dentist appointment.

It's a little hard on a mom whose existence for so long has been wrapped around her little boys and then all of a sudden you're a piece of furniture - well a little bit more than a piece of furniture. A piece of furniture that cooks and drives.