Sunday, August 25, 2013

Freedom with a side of loneliness

I'm typing this up in an empty hotel room 150 miles from home. I have never, ever stayed in a hotel room all by myself. I've stayed in hotel rooms with my husband and my kids and my sisters and my parents. But this time it's all me.

I've been on many trips that were work related and this one is, too, but every other work trip has been taken with my husband and kids. This time, the kids are in bed at home getting some rest before school tomorrow. So, I decided to take the trip on my own.

I admit, it was freeing to do the drive by myself. I got to pick what was on the radio - the 80's station most of the way. I ate dinner without having to order any kid meals or cut someone else's meat and I washed my dinner down with a margarita. I checked into my hotel and didn't have to trip over suitcases and shoes or fight over which bed I'd get or have little ones bugging me to take them down to the pool. I watched the Video Music Awards on MTV, something I would never watch at home with the kids around. It was followed up with an R-rated profanity laced movie. Two big beds all to myself. I can stay up and eat potato chips in bed. It's something I haven't experienced before and I'm taking full advantage of it.

However, I can't help but feel a little lonely. There's no one here to kiss goodnight. No one to snuggle with. If I was at home, I'd be spending my evening packing lunches, going over homework and folding laundry before tucking them in. I keep thinking to myself, "Brandon would love this." or "Ian would have so much fun here." I stopped in a candy store and bought goodies to bring home for the little guys. I bought some bling for the bigger boys. And tomorrow it sure will be nice to see them all again.