I try to carve out one on one time with each of my boys as much as I can. Sometimes it isn't so easy, not just due to lack of hours in the day, but based on cooperation and finding something that they want to do together. Many times one on one time is in the form of running an errand together. Some of the kids are always jumping at it, ready and willing to go to the grocery store, the gas station, the bank or wherever. And then sometimes there are one or two that I can't lure along for anything. Not picking out a Hot Wheels car or cookies if they accompany me to the store. Not a sidetrip to the Dunkin' Doughnuts drive through. Not a stop at Blockbuster to pick out a movie. I don't take it personally. He's a homebody. He likes to hang out at home. He likes to hang out with his brother. Sometimes I just feel like I'm missing out because I don't feel like I know him as well as I know his brothers. Not because he's shy or doesn't open up or anything like that. He's way less on the shy side than a couple of his brothers. He's not afraid to express himself.
This week we've had two outings on our own and I sat beside him in the car happy to have his company. One was a trip for lunch with Grandpa to my favorite sandwich shop. I looked at the menu figuring out what he might like to eat. Sausage? No. Hamburger? No. BLT? I was thinking no and then was stunned to hear him say that he likes bacon. I felt terrible that I had NO IDEA that he liked bacon. "I never see you eat bacon," I told him. "I like bacon. I just don't eat it because my brother likes it so much." I just felt this kick in the gut like I didn't know my son like I should. How could I not know that he likes bacon? What was I doing that was making he feel like he couldn't eat it? Too many lectures about money and wasting food, maybe. I ordered him a BLT just like he wanted - extra bacon and hold the lettuce and tomato and mayo. Then he took all the bacon off and ate it, leaving the bread. It was a nice outing with him and a day I learned something new about my son.