Thursday, November 8, 2012

The imperfect mom

I read a post today about the expectations we often put on ourselves after comparing our lives to others we read about on Facebook and the Internet and other social media outlets. I guess I do it once in a while. We all do. But, I've been around long enough to know how it really works. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors and the grass is rarely as green as it seems elsewhere. You might be awed by another mom's cookie making skills, but she may be a chain smoker who raises her kids in a cloud of second hand smoke. You may admire a mom's willingness to volunteer at school, but not know that her kids don't have clean underwear on because her overdoing it at school means that her laundry pile is a mile high. There's always things behind the scenes that you don't know.

I think we are all perfectionists in certain areas, there are few who are perfectionists in every area. I'm an imperfect pretty much every area. I'll admit it. Heck, I'll embrace it. Who wants the pressure of keeping up a facade of perfection all the time? I have faults. I mess up. I sometimes make the wrong choice or decision. But I do recognize those times and aim to improve upon them. I'm not a perfect mom and I don't want to be. I burn dinner. I under cook dinner. I sometimes feed the kids toaster waffles for dinner. I have dust bunnies in my corner. My work desk is terribly cluttered more often than not. I don't help my kids with homework as often as I should. I let them play Angry Birds on my iPad when I'm busy and need a quiet span of time to concentrate. I feel guilty because I don't dole out chores evenly to the kids. I feel guilty because I praise one and not the other. I feel guilty because I don't praise them enough. I feel guilty because I don't discipline them enough. I know - I'm a mess. But, mess and all, my kids love me and I love them. They see mom, not every little imperfection. And among all the imperfections, I even do something right once in a while. :)


Mel S. said...

I agree. I do think that social media makes us stress more about our imperfections. We have to remember that many people only put out the good things in their lives. We also have to remember that the reasons we are slacking in one area is because we were hard working in another.

Mel S

Kristen @ Motherese said...

Psst, I just fed my kids toaster waffles for lunch. So, yeah, I get where you're coming from. :)