My word of the year: Intention

I haven't really gotten on board with selecting a word for the year in January. And I didn't plan on it this year. I saw many Facebook friends and blogger friends pondering over their all-important one word. I couldn't come up with anything. It wasn't really a priority for me and I didn't want to spend much time thinking about it. Then the other day as I slowed down to something, it came to me. I was doing something intentionally. I was slowing down and thinking about it. I wasn't hurringing through it mindlessly. 

I am a master multitasker. I am often doing more than one thing at once. Or if I'm doing one thing, I'm thinking ahead in my mind to the next task. I do a lot of things in robot mode, not thinking about them, but rushing through them to get them done. I don't really like that about myself anymore. There was a time that, for efficiency purposes, I aimed to be that way and I thought it aided me in getting more done. I'm tired of living life rushing. I think a lot of us are - or were before the pandemic. These last months of being at home and spending a long time being sick and recovering from COVID, taught me a lot about slowing down. Life isn't a race. If it's something I have to hurry through just to get it done, it probably doesn't really have a place in my life anyway. Who wants to live their life just going through the motions to mark things off the to-do list and not enjoying them.

Anyway, I decided I will designate a word for myself for 2021. Intention.

I have improved in the area of doing things with intention and I hope to continue it and build on it. 

This morning, I found a few things to be intentional about. 

1. I had some things to put in the refrigerator. I started to throw them on a shelf haphazardly just to get them put away. I decided to stop and organize the shelf and then add it. I took a few minutes to organize some little packets and bottles and when I was done it felt like I accomplished something. I was intentional about organizing the shelf and putting it away properly. It felt good to look at the shelf and see everything put in it neatly.

2. I've never been a big breakfast person. I just don't get hungry when I first wake up. I'd rather get right to work and let my tummy know when it's time to eat. Sometimes I wait to long and then grab something unhealthy and just inhale it because I've gotten to the point of being shaky. 

This morning, I got to work while the house was quiet and after a couple hours I started to feel hungry. I don't like sweet stuff in the morning and much prefer something savory and warm. I didn't have time to spend a half hour making a hearty breakfast, so I went to the freezer. I like the Jimmy Dean biscuit rolls. They heat up nicely in the microwave and are small in size. I sometimes will warm up one or two of them. I have been trying to keep them in the freezer so I have them to make when I am hungry and don't have a lot of time to prep a meal. I have noticed that the kids also like them. Most of the time, I go to get some and find that they are all gone. There are only like 8 that come in a box. The boys could easily eat those in one day. 

Today I got the box out and it was light. There were two left. I decided I would warm them up and eat them while I had the chance - and then add more to my shopping list. I warmed them up and knowing they were the last two in the freezer, I took time to savor each bite. And I noticed when I was about to eat the last bite. I can't tell you how often I've sat at my computer or in front of the TV scarfing down chips or M & Ms or popcorn only to find I've eaten the last of it - and then feeling like I want just one more bite.

3. Tea Time. Last year I made a new year's resolution to try a new tea each day and I documented it on my food blog. It was fun. But because I was supposed to do it every day it kinda felt like a chore sometimes. I'd make tea when I wasn't in the mood for tea and make myself drink it. I'd make it and it would sit until it was cold and then it wasn't as good. Today, I picked out a flavor that sounded nice for a morning up - a raspberry hibiscus that gives a good zing to get you going and sipped it as I planned out my day.

4. As I was putting food away I noticed that I had a lot of oranges and tangerines that had been in the bowl a while and needed to be used. Yesterday, I took all the apples from the bowl and made an apple pie. Today I decided I needed to do something with the citrus fruit. Some was a little mushy but rather than throw it away, I decided I would fill a pot with water and cut up the ones that were bound for the garbage to boil on the stove. Once it a while I do this just because it fills the house with a nice aroma. Once it was boiling I added some cinnamon and it's been adding a nice scent the air along with adding a little moisture into the dry house.

One thing I also need to be more intentional about is how I spend my time. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. I need to be more careful of how I spend it and remind myself of how valuable my time is to me. 

I realized a long time ago that grocery shopping is not the best use of my time. Sometimes I like to wander into a store and look at items, but often it is just one more chore that has to get done and one more thing taking me away from work that needs to get done or from other things I'd rather be doing. Long before the pandemic I was doing grocery pick-up from Walmart. 

I tried Instacart a couple times, but found it to be more expensive than I was willing to pay (a delivery had a fee, plus there was an Instacart fee, plus items from Aldi cost more when ordering them through Instacart, plus I'd add on a tip). During the pandemic most grocery stores came up with a curbside pick-up plan or Instacart was available. I'm still getting stuff from Walmart, but also from Strack and VanTil and Aldi now via Instacart pickup. I don't have a delivery fee now and they seemed to have lowered prices. It's $1.99 for a pick-up order and then the tip. Gordon Foods and Produce Depot also have offered curbside pickup and I've gotten things from them, too. I hope it's one trend that continues beyond this year. If I can pay a few dollars to avoid a two-hour trip inside the grocery store, it is well worth it. It frees up those two hours for me to do other things. I do miss out on sales and usually pay a little more for the groceries I do get, but I think I spend less overall because I don't do impulse buying like I would when shopping in person.

I like days like today. I was up a little earlier than usual and it allowed me to get more done. I had a chance to work when the house was still quiet - the kids weren't mulling around and the dogs weren't anxiously pacing to go outside or get a snack. I took time to plan my day and think about what I needed to do to get each project done. I was intentional about everything I did this morning. I wasn't rushing just to cross it off the list. I look forward to more days like this.

 

48 Random Acts of Kindness

So for the past six years, I've decided to do random acts of kindness as my birthday rolls around. The number of kind acts correspond to my age, so I guess that gives it away. Today I turn 48. Because the number keeps growing each year, I seem to start earlier and earlier each year. This year I started during the pandemic and it's been harder to do things I'd normally do since I'm not out and about as much. I posted on Facebook that I was doing this again and thank those who also did a kind act as well (especially those who sent my mom a birthday card). I tried to track things as I went along to be sure I got to the 48.

1) Made homemade soup on several occasions and shared with senior friend

2) Donated to GoFundMe for a friend’s child

3) Shipped candy to niece for birthday

4) Brought food to a neighbor after 4th of July BBQ

5) Sent some headbands to a great niece

6) Passed on bags of gently used clothes to friend

7) Gave nephew some books

8) Ordered new dress for a niece

9) Went to visit Dad and brought him a couple plants

10) Brought homemade food to Dad on visit

11) Sent Mom some books

12) Sent niece candy when she wasn’t feeling good

13) Sent some candy to sister

14) Cleaned out kids closets and gave several bags of clothes to friend with young kids

15) Sent mom flowers

16) Sent flowers to an aunt

17) Gave extra garden plants to my sister

18) Brought meals to an elderly friend

19) Purchased ducks for the annual Illinois Special Olympics Duck Race fundraiser

20) Dropped off wine to a friend

21) Shared my micro green crop with a friend

22) Dropped off bottle of wine for another friend

23) Dropped off chocolate for a friend

24) Dropped off cake and cookies to sister-in-law

25) Sent free books to five kids 

26) Had pizza sent to brother and family

27) Sent treats to brother and sister-in-law

28) Packed up snacks for my brother when leaving for a road trip

29) Watched my brother’s dog while out of town

30) Sent matching outfits for a couple great nieces

31) Brought home ice cream for my kids

32) Had my son’s friends over for dinner

33) Sent signed book to a friend for their child

34) Adopted a graduating 8th grader and gave them gifts

35) Adopted a graduating high schooler

36) Adopted a college graduate

37) Saved egg cartons for food pantry

38) Sent mom gatorade and snacks

39) Brought Dad a radio so he could listen to Cubs games

40) Dropped off dinner for a friend

41) Bought some small toys and treats for niece and nephew

42) Passed on some bags of boys’ clothes to friend with sons

43) Made my son his favorite meal

44) Made donation to fund for friend with cancer

45) Dropped off food tray to a friend

46) Bought lunch for a friend

47) Ordered solar system book for nephew interested in planets

48) Sent tea to sister-in-law

Focusing on things that make me happy

Been so long since I posted something. I seem to say that on every post. But, you know, life keeps you busy.

Lately it’s been a different kind of busy. The first few days of the stay-at-home order the kids didn’t have school and some of my demanding work assignments were halting as travel and restaurant visits were prohibited. I spent the week before doing a little panic buying. I wasn't hoarding toilet paper, but I was definitely stocking the pantry and fridge not knowing what was to come. I just wanted to be sure there was plenty of food on hand in case stores closed or we had a complete lockdown imposed. So I was a little anxious about having enough food and being out touching things others had touched, but once I was stocked and staying home, I was good.

I’ve settled back into a busy routine. Work that was lost has been replaced with COVID-19 coverage. Almost all my assignments have taken on a coronavirus twist. There’s a million different angles.

But those first few days of quarantine were sweet. There was, of course, concern for so many who were getting sick and losing loved ones. It was sad. I've been feeling such sympathy for those working on the front lines. 

Here at home, though, it was kind of like going to that cocoon of having a newborn where you don’t leave the house for days and get used to life in pajamas or to the time when you get an unexpected snow day and you can take a big breath and for a day just let everything else go.

I’ve enjoyed my time at home being around the boys more. They’re growing up and it’s a rare day when they are all at home and no one goes anywhere. There really have only been a handful of those as hubby and my two oldest boys have continued working through it all.

But having everyone here at home more often than normal during the pandemic has been a silver lining to all this. Nights of doing puzzles or playing board games together. Not setting alarms or worrying about them sleeping late. Hearing their laughter as they play a video game together or share a funny YouTube video. Seeing them snuggle with the dogs or taking them for walk or to the lake. Sitting down for meals together. It has been the best kind of happy.

Things are moving along and at some point - although it still seems in the way-off future - it will be back to normal. Everyone going different directions, running kids to work and activities, no time to stop and eat lunch, seeing the kids up late stressing over homework, a full calendar. I can’t say I miss it all that much. I’m probably happiest on the snow days.

Speaking of happy, I started jotting down random things that make me happy and I’m just going to leave them here so that when I have a day I’m feeling overwhelmed or just down, I’ll can come back and be reminded of some of the little things that can cheer me up. I’ll continue to add to it.

Mariachi music

Superbowl half-time shows

Fresh tomatoes from the garden

Looking at doggies and puppies (but not petting them. They make me itchy.)

Sunflowers with bees buzzing around them

Surprises

Elotes

My mom’s chicken and dumplings

Penguins

Floral prints

When my dog hangs out next to me

The song “What a Wonderful World”

New fleece blankets

Freshly-painted fingernails

When a handsome elderly gentleman smiles and you can see in his eyes that he was a really handsome dude in his younger years

Sausage pizza with really thin crust and lots of cheese - but not so much that the crust gets soggy

Baseball

Spring flowers poking out of the ground

Bacon

Any movie with Chris Farley

Rainbows

Chocolate candy bars with caramel and nuts

Baby giggles

Oversized recliners or chairs with ottomans

Food events where I get to sample lots of stuff

Being in Chicago (but I hate getting there and parking there)

Music by George Straight

Christmas Eve

Christmas Day

Date night

Plopping down on a hotel bed with a big fluffy comforter and lots of pillows after a busy day of exploring a destination 

Smelling a baby’s freshly-washed head after a lathering of Johnson’s Baby Shampoo 

Old ladies who tell it how it is

A text from my Dad

Buying a dress for a baby girl

Being on an observation deck where I can for miles

Singing Go Cubs Go after a Cubs win

1980s movies by John Hughes

Bowling, even though I suck at it

The Office

Breakfast skillets

Seeing an American flag flapping in the wind

A long walk in the woods

The color blue

Country music

A road trip with a beautiful blue sky in front of me full of fluffy clouds

A southernly gentleman who says “yes, ma’am”

When someone compliments me on an article I’ve written

Pocky

Hearing my kids laugh

The Beatles

Elvis

Visiting a new place

Getting a letter from my aunt

The show Parenthood

When I get through all the unread emails in my inbox

A fresh tablecloth on the table before anyone gets crumbs on it

British accents, French accents, Australian accents - really almost any accent

Taking a ride in a small plane

When my husband drives when we go into the city and I get to sit back and relax

Being in the presence of a military veteran, especially those of the Greatest Generation

Being up early before anyone else in the house and hearing nothing

Looking out the window at falling snow (that I don’t have to drive in)

When hubby gets me flowers or picks them for me

Thin, fresh English toffee 

Bath bombs

Tiramisu

The Blues Brothers

Watching a children’s choir sing

Parades

Chocolate covered peanuts or pecans

Peach Belinis 

Spending time by the water - especially a large body of water where I can’t see what’s on the other side

Saturday Night Live Skits

A nice new shirt that is a pretty pastel color that doesn’t have stains on it yet

Sunshine

Sunshine coming out after a light rain and seeing drops on leaves brightened by the sun

Sitting at Wrigley Field on a warm (but not hot) spring or summer afternoon for a day game

Pork Schnitzel with lots of lemon squeezed on it

Live concerts

Six Ways to Make Easter Special This Year

Easter will be a strange one this year. We’re in a weird time of social distancing. I call it physical distancing, which I got from James Corden. In some ways, we are more social than ever. Lately I have been on FaceTime with my sisters almost everyday. We’ve never been in touch as much as we are now.

This year, it’s important to keep some of the special traditions and make the holiday as normal as possible for young kids. But it’s also a good time to start some new fun or just quirky and odd traditions. Those are the ones they’ll remember.

If you’re a fan of the show This is Us, you’ll know that the Pearsons always have hot dogs rolled in cheese and cracker crumbs and watch one of the Police Academy movies on Thanksgiving because of one disastrous Thanksgiving experience.

We all remember the scene in A Christmas Story when Ralphie and his family had duck at a Chinese restaurant for Christmas dinner because the Bumpass’ mangy dogs barged in and ate the turkey.

So maybe this will be the year you have tuna salad and ice cream for Easter because you’re taking the stay-at-home orders very seriously and that’s all you have in your fridge or freezer.

Here are six ideas to make your Easter at home a special one for your family this year.

#1 - Have a backyard Easter egg hunt

Even if you can’t go out to your local park with your kids for an uber competitive egg hunt, you can still do one at home. Fill plastic eggs with candy, coins, little toys and scatter them in the yard for the kids to find.

#2 - Play a fun game

I’ll share a favorite game our family has played over the years that is a hit with young kids. My brother, Mark, came up with it way back in the 70s or 80s. It’s called the question/answer game. All you need is some small slips of paper and a pen and two bowls. 

Think up some questions - they can be super basic, or funny or related to current events or pop culture or whatever. It could be as simple as “What Color Is the Sky?” for your question and “Blue” for your answer. You put all the questions in one bowl and the answers in another bowl. Then you draw one of each. The answers rarely match up and you end up with some comical answers. If you have plastic eggs, put your questions and answers in eggs.

#3 - Find a church that is streaming services

Going to church as a family is a big Easter tradition for a lot of people. If your church isn’t streaming services, find one that is. Start by looking for other local churches. 

Holy Name Cathedral is streaming several services this week. They streamed a Holy Thursday mass, are having nightly 6 p.m. interactive prayer times on Zoom and are streaming on Easter starting at 6 a.m.

#4 - Do an Easter Family Photo Shoot

Since you can’t get to a studio or meet up with your favorite photographer, plan a DIY photo shoot. Either dress everyone up as you normally would or take the opportunity to do a silly shoot. Get everyone in their sweatpants and put on homemade masks (or photoshop them in) and hold baskets with toilet paper and Lysol in them and cue the sad faces.

Outdoor light is great for beginners - no need to use a flash. Find a backdrop in your yard or somewhere nearby where there’s green your background. Also, try out the portrait mode on your iPhone. You’d be surprised and what good pics you can get.

#5 - Pick up Easter dinner from a local restaurant 

It’s been a rough time for restaurants. If ever there was a time to splurge on a catered holiday meal, this is it. With the absence of dining room traffic, a lot of restaurants are struggling. Support them with your order and take the day off from cooking. Most places can do contact-free curbside pick-up. Pay online or by phone and when you get there, just pop your trunk. Find a list of Chicago and suburban restaurants offering Easter carry-out here.

#6 - Decorate the Easter table

Kids love to have some responsibility when it comes to holiday celebrations. Put them in charge of decorating. They can print off free coloring pages to decorate the house or make placemats and draw bunnies and eggs. Add some decorated eggs and make a centerpiece out of them. They can also make place cards and learn how to set a formal table so they know where the silverware, glassware and napkin go.

Dear Sons: Attitude is Everything (Letter #32)

Dear Sons, (Letter #32)

I jotted something down a few years back:

"You can live your life one of two ways - as if nothing is a miracle or as if everything is a miracle."

Of course, I choose the latter. Some people may think it's unrealistic to look at the world through rose-colored glasses, never getting a true look at reality. It doesn't mean I ignore reality, I just focus more on the positive. I've learned over the years how important a good attitude is. It's everything. If you believe you're going to fail, you probably will.

I hope that as you grow, you'll learn and understand what I mean. Trying to talk to teenagers about having a good attitude is often fruitless. Parents' opinions and advice carry as much weight as the whiny, blabbering teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons - largely ignored and incoherent.

But as you head out into the world, you'll find that a good attitude will serve you well in so many ways. People will listen more. They'll want to be your friend. They'll enjoy your influence. It will open doors. I'm so excited to see what the future holds for all of you and where you'll go. And wherever you go, remember that attitude is everything.

Love,

Mom

Dear Sons: Savoring the Firsts Even As You're Growing Up

Dear Sons (letter #30),

There have been many firsts in your lives that I so enjoyed witnessing. The first time you smiled. Roller over. Crawled. Talked. Walked. Went to School.

As you each grow bigger those baby and toddler firsts are long gone. But as you enter your teens there are still many things you're learning and experiencing for the first time. Only thing is...I'm not right there holding you and watching you as it happens. It's one of the hardest things in the world to learn to let go and let you live your own life without me being such a big part of it.

So, when I do still get to be part of it, it's so meaningful and gives me a lot of joy.

And this past week I got to experience a first concert with one of you.

For many people, that first concert is something that really sticks with them. I remember my first concert. I had won tickets on the radio to go to a show in the city. It was at a smaller venue in Chicago that held about 1,000. There wasn't really any seating. It was one of those standing room only shows and it was more like a club. In fact, I think there was a two-drink minimum when you went to the show. And I was only 19.

The act was Travis Tritt, who I really liked. My older sister and brother-in-law met me there. My sister was about six months pregnant at the time. It was a good show and I was definitely hooked. I couldn't wait to go to another concert. The next one was more of a traditional concert at a big venue. It was called World Music Theatre then (it's also been called the Tweeter Center and is now the Hollywood Casino Amphiteahtre) and it was to see Garth Brooks with Martina McBride as the opening act. We had seats on the lawn. My in-laws went with us, a niece and I think my sister.

Your oldest brother and I have been to many concerts together. We enjoy a lot of the same music. He loves 80s bands and country. We've seen Kiss, Toby Keith, Brad Paisley, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Bon Jovi, Kid Rock, Def Leppard and others.

I took your next bro to his first concert last year. He was 19, just like I was. His favorite singer is Phil Collins. I was excited to take him to see another artist from my era for his first concert. He was so into it that he went out and bought a drum set the next week.

Your next bro has yet to go to his first concert. It's not that I haven't tried. Two summers ago I was excited to get tickets to take all five of you to a show. It was a band that you all liked and I was glad we'd all get to have that experience together. It was devastating when we learned of Chester Bennington's suicide just a couple weeks before the concert was to take place. A couple of your brothers were huge fans and took that news really hard. Your brother reminded me that he'd wanted to see Linkin Park once before, but I had told him "no." I wasn't a big fan of the band at the time and I think it was part of a larger music festival that I really didn't want to spend my whole day at. I now really regret it.

I also regret not seeing Prince the last time he performed in Chicago. I really wanted to go, but decided not to. I didn't really want to spend the money on a ticket and I figured I'd see him next time he was in town. He died shortly after.

A couple weeks ago when I saw your two older male cousins, we talked about when I took them to Wrigley Field to see Paul McCartney. They were both teens at the time. I asked Matthew if it was his first concert and he said it was. I'm gonna give myself props here for being the cool aunt. Really, how awesome is that to have your first concert be to see Sir Paul?

So, I was really excited to go to your first concert with you this past weekend to see Billie Eilish. I didn't know any of her songs until the past few days and I still didn't really 'get her' before the show. She was a great performer to see live and I really had a blast. I am glad you did, too. It's one of those memories that you'll look back on way down the road and I'm glad I'll be part of it.

Dear Sons: Your Way Isn't Always the Right Way

Dear Sons (Letter #29):

Hi, boys. It's been a little while since I've added one of these letters, but something came to mind recently and I thought I'd address it on the blog. It's something I want you to keep in mind as you grow. It's something that might take you a long time to figure out. I know it did for me. Some people never really get it. I want to make sure you understand something - that your way isn't always the right way.

I've known a lot of people who have always had to be right. Even when I knew they were dead wrong, they'd argue their position and insisted it was right. Sometimes it was a fact that you could show them in black and white to prove them wrong (and they might still argue it) and other times it's an opinion, but one that you just can't make them budge on or see any other way.

For a long time into young adulthood, I was an arguer when I thought I was right - in some cases. I'd never do it at work. And I'd rarely do it with friends. But once in a while with family I'd not back down -- but you know who I wouldn't back down with? Occasionally you dad, but really it was your grandfathers. Both of them have been wonderful guys - sweet, thoughtful, caring and would give you the shirt off their back. But another thing they had in common was being stubborn. If they thought they were right, they gave your their opinion. If they thought someone else was wrong, they wouldn't let up and would not hesitate to point out flaws.

Even thought I would try and argue, I hardly ever won. I often gave up because it just wasn't worth it to go back and forth. And I learned that it wasn't really that important to always be right. Sometimes even if I knew I was right or felt strongly that my opinion was more valid, it wasn't worth the argument. And it took a little bit, but I learned that sometimes I was the one that wasn't right or that there was more than one answer or that it was sometimes the better thing to do to just let them express their opinion without any backlash.

There seems to be a lot of it happening these days - expressing opinions and refusing to even hear the other side or acknowledge that there are two sides (or more) to an issue and not just one.

The earlier you understand and accept this, the better off you'll be. The less time you'll waste on useless arguments. But most of all, the more open you'll be to hearing others and learning from others. And I really hope that's the kind of men you'll grow to be.

P.S. This does't count for trash talking about old school video games. I'll still whip you all in a game of Tetris, Galaga or Paper Boy.

Love,

Mom

I'm a Meditating Hot Mess

I'm constantly on the prowl for ways to live a less-stressed life. I'm naturally an on-the-go, not-sit-still, mind-always-racing kind of gal and so it is really hard to try to train myself to slow down.

And if you've ever read the children's book If You Give A Mouse a Cookie, I often feel like that mouse. I set off to do one thing and I'm so easily distracted that I am led to starting something else, which reminds me of something else and sends me off another direction. And it happens over and over and over.

I often find it hard to focus. And two things that seem the very hardest for me to focus on are 1) watching a weather forecast and 2) mediating. All my life, I have had this mental block in watching the weather. I'd sit and watch the news and as soon as the weather came on, my mind zipped somewhere else. At the end of the forecast I'd come to and think, dang, what did he just say? Once in a while I could stay with Jerry Taft long enough to figure out if I needed to wear a jacket the next day. But I finally found I was able to focus on watching a full forecast when I tuned in to Tom Skilling. Something about the passion he has about what he does was so interesting and although I still drift off from time to time when he starts talking about air masses and barometric pressure, I can pretty much stay engaged in Skilling's forecasts enough to learn what's in store for the next few days in the weather department. Now I need to find my Tom Skilling of mediation.

I've tried mediating a few times in the past and it was really a challenge. My mind goes toward overthinking something I did yesterday or what I'm going to have for lunch or that I need to clean my closet or that I have so many unfinished projects going or that I can't believe that they sent Bumbly home on American Idol - I love the skinny, gentle soft-crooning white guys and the pretty blonde country singing ladies, but come on, bring a little more diversity to the top 10 already. She was flawless and completely adorable. Anyway, where was I?

I decided to try again during this current 21-day free mediation experience from Oprah and Deepak Chopra. At day 13 I have only listened to three, so I guess that shows how committed I am. As I tried today I shook my head thinking that my meditation attempt could be a Saturday Night Live skit. That happens often in my life - when I'm in the middle of something ridiculous and I feel like I'm in the middle of a Saturday Night Live skit.

Here's how it went down.

I woke up before my alarm went off. The house was quiet. Hubby had already left for work. It was overcast and not much sunlight was shining in. It seemed like a good time. I fumbled with my phone for a few minutes trying to get to the app open and to the first available day. It's actually at day 17, but the last 5 days are available when you log in. So I went to day 13.

Oprah starts off following some brief instrumental music and it's a familiar voice. The first sentences make me really smile. "We cannot accept more into our lives without truly appreciating what we already have." "Some of us have the belief that success only comes with sacrifice. That isn't really what the universe wants for you. In fact, the universe is standing by ready to fill your life with blessings."

That line about success only coming with sacrifice really sticks and I contemplate how I work too much and make too little money and how I need to make that balance much better. "Am I really even successfu'?" I think to myself. And whatever success I've had, is it worth the price of often working 11 hours on a Sunday?

From there, it's like I'm watching a weather forecast. My mind waves a little, "bye, girl" and shuts the door while my mind drifts not toward thoughts of gratitude and inner success and grace, but a lot of other topics.

I start thinking about how I used to like to play hooky from school and lay on the sofa and watch Oprah in junior high and high school. And I'd sit next to my mom and squirm if the topic had anything to do with sex and just hope she wouldn't try to start a conversation. And how do you spell hooky - is there a 'y' or an 'ey' or an 'ie". I squash the urge to pause it at that moment and Google it. See what I mean about how I sometimes lack focus? LOL

I thought about when I went to see the Oprah show in the early 1990s with my sister, my friend and my niece - who wasn't yet 18 and who they wouldn't let sit in the studio audience. So, being Aunt of the Year, we left her in the lobby to watch an archived copy on a television with the Harpo security guard while we went in and sat through the taping. (***Note: And in a happy and ironic twist, she got to go to a taping later on AFTER she turned 18. It was the one where Tom Cruise jumped on the sofa!)

I thought about how much I missed my routine back when her show was on ABC-7 at 9 a.m. I'd drop all the kids off at school, come back home and squeeze in a 1 - 2 mile walk before the show started. Then I'd sit on my keister with that tingly feeling in my legs that they were happy from the physical activity and I'd watch intently. And I wonder if I can watch the old Oprah Winfrey shows from the 1990s on Netflix or Hulu or Amazon Prime?

I thought, "Heck, yeah, Oprah, I'd be appreciative of your three homes and millions of dollars if I were you."

I thought about Maya Rudolph doing the Oprah Weight Watchers bread commercial.

I thought about the Drake and Josh episode where they ran over Oprah.

Next thing I know, Oprah is done and Deepak beings.

I start to drift. Deepak. Deeeee Pak. Kind of sounds like a rapper name. I snap myself out of it and really concentrate on listening to him.

I pay attention to my breathing.

I hear a door slam downstairs. I pause it. I text my youngest son, who is notorious for sleeping through his alarm to see if he's awake. I text again. He responds and I get back to taking in some Deepak. Deeee Pak. What kind of rap music would he make? Ok, focus. Breathe.

I try to send my mind down the path of gratitude and internalizing it. It's working. For a minute or so at a time. I drift a little. I hear kids walking to school outside since the window is slightly open. Horns beeping. Birds squawking. Water running. A lot of distractions. I think maybe I should try later. But I know once I'm out of bed, it's on. I'll be busy and it'll be harder to get back to it. So, I try harder to listen. But I really have to pee.

Ok, I breathe slow, I start to focus on listening and now it's time for the quiet meditation. The part where there are no prompts. It's just you and your thoughts. The music plays and there's no one to listen to. I'm really in trouble now. No one to guide me. My thoughts are all over the place and I try to reign them back in. I suddenly realize that Deepak was saying "ego" not "eagle" when he was talking. Now it totally makes more sense. But now I can't remember the mantra. What am I supposed to be silently repeating to myself? Darn. I've got to find out. And I've got to pee. No. Focus. Finish this meditation. Come up with a different mantra. Just keep going. I wonder how much longer it lasts?

Grattitude. Grace. Success. Got it. That wasn't the real mantra. But that's what I was telling myself. And some good thoughts came to me. And I did start to relax. Then the bell rang. I know I'm doing it wrong, but I'll keep trying. :)

So Exciting to Confirm Irish Ancestry Going Back Five Generations

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! There’s this line that everyone’s a “wee bit Irish” on St. Patrick’s Day. It’s a fun, little joke that no matter what your nationality is, you can claim Irish for the day, even if you’re not. It's your pass to don green and drink beer and party like you're from the Emerald Isle.

My dad has always told me that his roots go back to England and Ireland, with a little Scottish thrown in there. So, I was fairly certain there was some Irish there, but I never had a real confirmation. This past summer, I took a trip with my aunt, meant to help me learn a little about our family background.

My Aunt Marilyn is my dad’s older sister. She’ll be turning 89 this month. She’s the one in the family who has had a big interest in genealogy and I always wanted to learn more from her. Taking a trip with her seemed to be a good opportunity. Marilyn was a teacher and later a probation officer. She still has that teacher way about her - she’s gentle and patient and explains everything thoroughly and seems to know everything. She's traveled the world and has had amazing experiences that I so enjoyed hearing about. 

The purpose of the trip was to make our way through four states and she was going to introduce me to some cousins (2nd and 3rd cousins) who I have never met. I was very excited about it. She also wanted me to see the farm where my grandfather was born in Kentucky.

We first went to Dayton, Ohio to meet her first cousin, Carole. We left on Labor Day and visited her at her home with her kids and a nephew and niece and their kids and the next day we went out to dinner to celebrate her 85th birthday. Carole’s mother and my paternal grandfather were siblings.

Next it was on to Ashland, Kentucky to meet a cousin, Karen, for dinner. I believe her dad and my grandfather were cousins. The third visit was to meet a cousin, Grant, in Frenchburg, Kentucky. He was closer in age to me than the other cousins we were meeting (he's around 40). Instead of staying at a hotel this time, we were welcomed into his home with his wife, Ashley, and 8-year-old son, Jaxon. 

They were so hospitable and so happy to spend time with us. If I remember correctly, Marilyn had met Grant once as a very young boy on a visit to the area decades ago. The connection with Grant is that his great grandmother was a cousin of my paternal grandfather. While my paternal grandfather (who died before I was born) was born at the Oldfield family farm in Maytown, Kentucky, his family relocated to central Illinois when he was a child. 

It was amazing to learn that the farm where he was born is still there and still intact, although the once-tobacco farm isn’t producing tobacco anymore. Grant’s grandfather and then father had lived on the farm. He’s an only child and his father passed away last year. He takes the responsibility of carrying on that family history very seriously.

One day he took us for a ride over to the farm. On the way we visited two cemeteries and although some of the names were ones I had heard in bits of conversation, I really couldn’t make a connection to any of them other than the few that Grant specifically pointed out - like his parents and grandparents. The third cemetery we visited was actually on that family farm. Grant later showed us a land deed stating that the family acquired the land around 1830. 

The little cemetery sat at the highest point on the hilly farm. We couldn’t drive up in our car and had to hop in Grant’s truck to be able to navigate the terrain. Once at the top, we snapped a couple photos. The stones are old and worn and mossy, but you could make out the names and dates. Greenery covered some of the stones, but two were easily visible - the names on them were Dennie Oldfield and Martha Oldfield. Again, the names really didn’t mean much to me - I hadn’t really heard the last name Oldfield until this leg of the trip.

We went on with our visit. Grant took us to an out of the way farm-to-table restaurant in the Daniel Boone National Forest after he learned I was a food blogger. He took us by some scenic falls in the area. And on the final day we accompanied them to church before heading on to spend a night in the capital of Kentucky, Frankfort.

That night at the hotel, Marilyn brought in a bag of papers she’d had in the car. She had a number of photos she’d been pulling out to show relatives we met. As she went through the papers, she said, “You might like to see this.” It was an amazing treasure — a handwritten family tree she’d constructed probably a quarter-century or more earlier. It followed my dad’s paternal side back to 1761 to a great-great-great-great-great grandfather who had fought in the Revolutionary War. In looking at it, I saw the same names that I had seen on headstones in the cemeteries and it sunk in that at one - maybe two of those cemeteries, I was related to every person buried there in some way. 

I matched up the names to those two headstones that were in that little cemetery high on the hill of the Oldfield family farm. It turned out Martha, whose maiden name was Murphy, was my great, great grandmother, born in 1830. Another little booklet had been typed - I could tell it had been typed on a manual typewriter - and had more detailed history of the family. It ended with a paragraph about how this information was being recorded so that it wouldn’t be lost to future generations. I got chills reading that. It was dated 1958.

As I flipped through I came to Martha Murphy and it showed that her father was John Murphy. And the next thing I read was really life-changing. It said that John Murphy’s father, also named John Murphy, was born in Dublin, Ireland. He came to the U.S. as a stowaway on a ship at age 17 and landed in Virginia. I was just in awe. I really enjoyed learning so much about where our family lived and what they did over the past couple of centuries in the United States, but I hadn’t yet seen anything with a direct link to where they were before they came to this country. It was amazing to read in a little booklet typed by a relative 60 years ago the confirmation of where this one part of the family came from. It confirmed that in the late 1700s, my great-great-great-great grandfather came here from Ireland. It was late at night and Aunt Marilyn was asleep and I was reading all this information by a dim hotel light over the desk. I was on Eastern time, an hour ahead of everyone at home, so there was no one awake to share this amazing discovery with. I wanted to jump and up and down and giggle and scream, but I had to just sit there silently and read it over and over again. I sent a quick text to my sisters and my dad that I figured they’d read in the morning: “I traced us back to Dublin, Ireland. Now on St. Patrick’s Day I can truly say that I know that I’m Irish.”

So, this is the first St. Patrick’s Day that it’s confirmed that I can truly say that I am of Irish decent. And it feels so cool to really know it’s true. 

The Word for the New Year

I've seen all kinds of post about picking a poignant, meaningful word for the new year and living up to it. I'm not all that into making resolutions. I try all year long to live life in a happy, positive way. I should set more goals and make them happen. So, I guess my resolution could be to make resolutions. :)

When I thought about words, first thing to come to mind was a simple one - wonderful.

One of my favorite movies of all time is "It's a Wonderful Life." I love how the movie portrays how much of a difference George Bailey has made in the lives of those around him, even though he doesn't recognize it.

One of my favorite songs is "What a Wonderful World." I remember many years ago - about 24 to be exact, we were at my sister's house. My brother-in-law was going through cancer treatments and a football game was on TV. The commercials came on and the room cleared and it was just him and I. In a commercial, they were playing that song and tears started streaming down his face. "This song just makes you feel like a little kid," he said. I hugged him and we both cried. A few months later he lost his battle with cancer at age 42. Many times when I hear the song I think of him - not so much of how tragically he left the world too soon, but about what a fun, funny and kind guy he was and the impact he made on those who knew him.

So, in 2019. I aim to have a wonderful year. One where I don't take things for granted. One where I see the value in those around me and show them what they mean to me. One when I embrace those feelings of youth and enjoy spontaneous moments. More fun, less work taking in all the wonder and wonderful things I can.

What I wish I'd said when I met Joe Madden

My awesome sis got me a great gift for my birthday - tickets to a fundraising event to meet Joe Madden. Her husband's birthday is not too far away from mine and it was his birthday present, as well, so the three of us attended. He's such an inspiring and cool guy. I was definitely a giddy little girl.

What I wish I’d said while meeting Joe Maddon:

“I agree with you that baseball is more exciting on radio than on TV. In fact, the reason I am a Cubs fan is because my Dad, who grew up in Central Illinois surrounded by Cardinals fans fell in love with the Cubs while listening to them play in the1945 World Series on the radio. He was 9 years old and has been a Cubs fan ever since and passed on that love of the Cubs to his kids, who passed it on to their kids.

My dad, who is now 82, spent about a decade saying “All I want before I die is to see the Cubs win the world series.” Thank you for your part in making that happen. Thanks for your role in giving that to all the Cubs fans who waited so long. Thanks for making Cubs fans proud to be Cubs fans and for making all the heartbreak worth the wait.

Wrigley Field is my happy place and other than being at home with my family, there’s no other place on earth I would rather be. The rest of the world melts away as soon as I step in the gates. 

I was THIS close to publishing a book about the Cubs twice. 

When they finally make the movie about the 2016 Cubs, I hope Bill Murray plays you.”

“Will you please run for president?”

What I actually said:

Me: “You’re the coolest. I love you.”

(I wanted to say, “I love the way you manage the team” or “I love how you have the team dress up for road trips” or “I love that you were the guy to help lead them to the first World Series win in 108 years” and all that I got out was “I love you.”

Joe: “Really?”

Me: “You’re so awesome.” 

Then knowing my window was closing, I rattled off the first thing I could think of so quickly - it was like the scene in A Christmas Story where Ralphie is about to go down the slide after drawing a blank while meeting Santa. He stops, climbs back up and gives a 15-second spiel about the Red Ryder B B Gun he wants for Christmas. I rattled off the following in about 2.3 seconds - 

Me: “I was there at your opening press conference at the convention when you called Wrigley Field the ‘greatest cathedral in all of baseball.”

Joe: “Well it is.”

Me: “You had me from that moment. You’re just awesome.” 

And with that, I walked away wondering if he thought I was a creep or a loon or just a complete dork.